This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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