She's JV to your varsity
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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