so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
