I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize