I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
