i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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