he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize