Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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