things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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