Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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