why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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