She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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