there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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