Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
