Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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