why didn't you poke me back
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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