Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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