eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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