I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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