this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
