I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
