Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
