Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
