Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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