And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize