he wants to bone in the snuggie
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
