If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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