nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
