Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
