Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
