Do you still have your period?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
