I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
