just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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