I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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