Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
sex in a hospital.. check
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
