idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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