the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
