just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
