just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
