need another drink. this is the easiest way
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
