It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
