Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
