I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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