with your own penis?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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