I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
