The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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