Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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