Well douche your snatch and let's go!
youre lurking in front of me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
