its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
