i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
