I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
