there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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