hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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