Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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