She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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