i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
