smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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