Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
